Cellular Malfunction (with audio)

My grey matter is like chewing gum
that’s lost its flavour. Useless.
I want to pluck it out and stick it
to the underside of my desk
in defiance. Not that I ever
did that, you understand,
that’s disgusting behaviour
(don’t think badly of me,
I do enough of that). This brain
that is no brain is driving me
crazy. It won’t work like it’s
supposed to. It won’t think
like I need it to. Maybe that’s
the problem. I’m expecting
too much from this tired brain
of mine. I’ve never been an over-achiever,
a Brainiac, a high-flyer, what right
do I have expecting it to perform
for me now? Performance.
That’s what this is. I’m playing
a part that was never mine
to have. A fraudster. That’s
what I am. Pretending to be
something I’m not. Just give up.
Oh, so now you have something
to say? Pipe down brain.
Not today.

~The H Word~


Forward Thinking

Nothing good ever comes
from living in the past,

spend too long looking back
you’ll miss the best parts,

worry about what’s up ahead
you’ll overlook what’s important.

Life happens in the moment.

I’m not saying it’s easy,
I’m not saying I’ve achieved it

but there’s a reason
it’s called the present.

That life you’re looking for,

it’s right here.

Wishful Thinking

I have never lived
amongst the green and tall
the living things that twist and turn
achieving goals through osmosis
yet, I think of them often.

I live amongst the concrete things
that flatten down and level out
prepare the earth for needy things
that purchase wealth and frivolous ideas.

I wonder how the air would feel
if it were rich with purity
and when I took a deep, deep breath
I would feel it rushing inward
Whistling cool and nurturing
giving life to what was dying.

The air is clean, cleaner than some
And when I step outside it thrums
with excitement but it feels tainted
by buildings crowding all around
jostling for a prima spot
if I could wish everything away
and be left with what once was
would I be happier, then?

~The H Word~

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