Time Taken

My well had run dry;
arid, barren, producing
nothing but dust
that would fill up my head
and then settle for less
but I’m learning,
to be kinder and stop
long enough to consider
what’s important to me.
I’ve refilled. Ideas run free
even if I can’t catch them all
my bucket’s ready and waiting.
I’m prepared,
and now making amends,
the process never ends,
it’s perpetual, eternal,
enlightened survival.
I now keep up with myself,
so I can be my best self
in the best possible way.

~The H Word~

Moment to Moment

Take solace in silence
see time as a gift
find patience in waiting
give yourself a chance
leave pressure alone
send worry away
tell tomorrow to wait
let this moment, now
be more than enough
to be thankful for.

NaPoWriMo2020 Day29

Confounded

Cultural demons beat
damned wings in impatience.
Patriarchal propensity
clings to yesterday’s norm.
Demands are unanswered,
spiteful hector, unheard.
Expression mangles in fury
as the madness takes hold.
Resistance confuses
such inherent expectation.
Femininity, surely,
guarantees acquiescence.
Is it so,
can it be,
the revolution’s begun?
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day23

Killing Time

What doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger.
A new superpower
government-gifted
to the sacrificed herd.
Or, better still
call them heroes, instead—
our essential front-line
left unprotected and blind
to get on with it all.
No-ones asking
for heroes
or super-fucking-powers.
Just a fighting chance,
enough ventilators
(and masks).
Society’s clutching
its last strand of sanity,
ripped out at the roots
in frustrated rage.
Reality? Should have
its license revoked,
along with the jokers
calling the shots.
I’ve seen horror movies
offer more hope.
Humanity reveals
its tainted underside
reckless protesters
assemble to give
ignorance a chance.
Vague regulations
social distance resistance
encourages the selfish
who couldn’t care less
about the widows they make
for freedom’s sake.
Pandemonium weakens
to washed-out dismay.
Astonishment fades
to shady complacency.
Take a bite of the news,
try and swallow the bile
acerbic indigestion
a bitter reward
for your time.
Truth’s an alien concept
to the trusted elected.
High-born sociopaths
(or game-show hosts)
play with thousands
of lives, the stakes
have never been higher.
It’s no witty affair
when empathy’s scarce.
So, take yourself for a walk
your once-a-day jaunt.
Mind, set a brisk pace
keep depression
at bay, for a while.
It’s killing time.
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day19

Self-Indulgent Haiku

Moon shine down on me,
bathed in light help me to feel
like I might be real.

***

Darkness within and
darkness without. How can I
find the light in me?

***

Low feels like low looks;
sky too high to see the stars,
eyes cast down, searching.

***

Hope, like a lover
who has been gone for too long;
jilted acceptance.

***

Cheer up! Chin up! Snap
out of it, smile more. You could
be worse off, you know.

***

#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day15

What do you want to achieve today?

Firstly, apologies to anyone who thinks this is going to be an inspirational post about what wonderful, creative things you can do during lock-down.

Whilst I’m in awe of those who are learning new skills, adhering to a carefully thought out schedule and generally excelling at life, that simply isn’t me.

Today, my achievement is that I woke up at 9 am. You may be thinking, oh, did you want to have a long lie? Sorry, let me explain. Today I wanted to wake up at 9 am because for the past four days I haven’t been able to get out of bed before midday.

Let me put this into context. I’m a mother of two; one is 9 and the other is 18. I’m married. I have responsibilities. I am in my second year of a university degree course. However, I also struggle with my mental health.

I guess the point of this post is to show that everyone’s goals are going to be different right now. This is a weird and messed up situation. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Set personal goals and celebrate achieving them. Know that what you are doing is good enough.

Tomorrow, I might add something else, I might not. If I can get up at 9 am for two days running, I’ll be happy with that.

Whatever you achieve today, no matter how small, I admire your strength. If you feel you haven’t achieved what you planned, there’s always tomorrow. I admire your courage to keep trying.

You’re one of a kind, each and every one of you. Please be kind to yourself.

Stay safe, everyone!

H x

Searching

I’ve tried to find
the light switch
the one inside
my head.
I’m drowning
in this darkness
inhaling my last breaths.

I stumble, fumble forwards
then stagger, tumble back.

That switch is always
out of reach
a fingertip away
from me
so, the darkness
keeps its hold
for now, for the moment
I must yield.

I’ll try again tomorrow
to find the light I need.

#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day5

War of Words

We live in a time where being online is a such huge part of life. For some, this will have increased tenfold over the past few weeks, as we try to keep up to date with what’s going on and stay in contact with those we cannot see face to face. I, for one, have never been more grateful for the internet.

The poem I’m sharing today, I wrote about one of the negative aspects of online interaction — keyboard warriors. Those who love nothing more than to spout hateful comments to get a reaction. Many of us have encountered them, whether it’s been directed towards us personally or towards someone we follow, it’s never a positive experience.

We each have our own way of dealing with them. For me, I try to take away the thing they crave the most — attention, but sometimes that can be hard to do.

War of Words

Wicked warriors
brandishing words
like daggers — sharpened
and barbed to pierce
the thickest of skins,
aimed to destroy from within.

Insults and slights
dolled up to the nines
yet, each dipped in poison
to hurt and divide.

It’s up to you to decide,
respond or ignore?
Give attention they crave,
or decide it isn’t your war.

You could attack them
with kindness. Choose
your words carefully.
Your weapon of choice?
Compassionate humanity.

Or wear honour like armour ―
polished and bright
enough to deflect
those weaponised
words of spite.

There are no winners
in war, only survivors.
Ask yourself, honestly,
is this a battle
worth fighting?

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