Depression Interrupted

For days I’ve felt your presence    lurking
just out of sight    hidden in shadows
growing in strength as my mood darkens

tentacles of torment twitch    aching
to touch    a low hiss escapes cruel slit
of a mouth    back arches    skin stretches

shivering with need   ready to pounce    any
minute    now    my melancholy state
the nourishment you crave    and for a moment

I’m not sure I’ve got what it takes    lungs
freeze    inflated    space between us    closes
nothing I can do to stop this    until  

you’re interrupted    a hopeful sound somewhere
in the house    seems to travel through time
to where we are now    is it music or laughter

or both    who can tell    you flail on the floor
lips curl back in pain    there is joy in this home
you cannot control    like a slug bathed in salt

you fold in on yourself    this will not be the night
your misery prevails    the shadows devour
what remains of you now    I go to the source

of that magical sound    who has managed to save
my life once again    without knowing how close
their mum came to the end.

~The H Word~


Time Sensitive

Even the ticking of the kitchen
clock sounds laborious. Each
heavy movement of the second
hand mimics my breathing:
slow, forced, reluctant.
I replaced its battery yesterday,
I feel I should apologise.
It was unasked for, selfish,
for my own personal gain.
Who am I to impose time,
time and time again?

~The H Word~


Hail hammers down outside
then pauses, an intake of breath,
it is hypnotic
and comforting to me.
Grey sky sags overhead
tired from the weight of it all.
Silence in the in-between
holds expectation like a lover.
I observe with consideration
acknowledging my admiration
when the weather suits my soul
so perfectly.

~The H Word~


The sky splits
like curdled milk;
one side spoiling
for a fight
the other trying
to keep the peace.
I see it all
from my stationary seat
at the desk by the window
facing out while staying in
best of both
in my opinion.
I imagine the smell
of approaching rain
I know it’s coming
just a matter of time
not that it bothers me
here facing out
while staying in.
I’m rattled
by boisterous gusts
ram-raiding the front
of the house
but not enough
to move me just yet.
I’ve got work to do.
~The H Word~

Time Taken

My well had run dry;
arid, barren, producing
nothing but dust
that would fill up my head
and then settle for less
but I’m learning,
to be kinder and stop
long enough to consider
what’s important to me.
I’ve refilled. Ideas run free
even if I can’t catch them all
my bucket’s ready and waiting.
I’m prepared,
and now making amends,
the process never ends,
it’s perpetual, eternal,
enlightened survival.
I now keep up with myself,
so I can be my best self
in the best possible way.

~The H Word~


I may not be the girl I was
when I look into the mirror.

I may not be the girl I was
when I wish I could be thinner.

I may not be the girl I was
when responsibilities were few.

I may not be the girl I was
I am so much more

in every way
I’ve grown
still do
each day

I will never be the girl I was
and I no longer wish to be.

~The H Word~

Moment to Moment

Take solace in silence
see time as a gift
find patience in waiting
give yourself a chance
leave pressure alone
send worry away
tell tomorrow to wait
let this moment, now
be more than enough
to be thankful for.

NaPoWriMo2020 Day29


It was hours past midnight
yet no closer to dawn. The
furious moon tries to stifle
a yawn. Animals gather,
puzzled and confused,
they call up to the sky,
Why has sun not appeared? 

Before moon can answer
sun strolls into view,
rising and stretching
she sluggishly shines.
No apology offered
Moon scowls, unimpressed
then sulks from the sky
to bed for a rest.   

~The H Word~

#NaPoWriMo2020 Day27

Killing Time

What doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger.
A new superpower
to the sacrificed herd.
Or, better still
call them heroes, instead—
our essential front-line
left unprotected and blind
to get on with it all.
No-ones asking
for heroes
or super-fucking-powers.
Just a fighting chance,
enough ventilators
(and masks).
Society’s clutching
its last strand of sanity,
ripped out at the roots
in frustrated rage.
Reality? Should have
its license revoked,
along with the jokers
calling the shots.
I’ve seen horror movies
offer more hope.
Humanity reveals
its tainted underside
reckless protesters
assemble to give
ignorance a chance.
Vague regulations
social distance resistance
encourages the selfish
who couldn’t care less
about the widows they make
for freedom’s sake.
Pandemonium weakens
to washed-out dismay.
Astonishment fades
to shady complacency.
Take a bite of the news,
try and swallow the bile
acerbic indigestion
a bitter reward
for your time.
Truth’s an alien concept
to the trusted elected.
High-born sociopaths
(or game-show hosts)
play with thousands
of lives, the stakes
have never been higher.
It’s no witty affair
when empathy’s scarce.
So, take yourself for a walk
your once-a-day jaunt.
Mind, set a brisk pace
keep depression
at bay, for a while.
It’s killing time.
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day19

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