Time Taken

My well had run dry;
arid, barren, producing
nothing but dust
that would fill up my head
and then settle for less
but I’m learning,
to be kinder and stop
long enough to consider
what’s important to me.
I’ve refilled. Ideas run free
even if I can’t catch them all
my bucket’s ready and waiting.
I’m prepared,
and now making amends,
the process never ends,
it’s perpetual, eternal,
enlightened survival.
I now keep up with myself,
so I can be my best self
in the best possible way.

~The H Word~

Killing Time

What doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger.
A new superpower
government-gifted
to the sacrificed herd.
Or, better still
call them heroes, instead—
our essential front-line
left unprotected and blind
to get on with it all.
No-ones asking
for heroes
or super-fucking-powers.
Just a fighting chance,
enough ventilators
(and masks).
Society’s clutching
its last strand of sanity,
ripped out at the roots
in frustrated rage.
Reality? Should have
its license revoked,
along with the jokers
calling the shots.
I’ve seen horror movies
offer more hope.
Humanity reveals
its tainted underside
reckless protesters
assemble to give
ignorance a chance.
Vague regulations
social distance resistance
encourages the selfish
who couldn’t care less
about the widows they make
for freedom’s sake.
Pandemonium weakens
to washed-out dismay.
Astonishment fades
to shady complacency.
Take a bite of the news,
try and swallow the bile
acerbic indigestion
a bitter reward
for your time.
Truth’s an alien concept
to the trusted elected.
High-born sociopaths
(or game-show hosts)
play with thousands
of lives, the stakes
have never been higher.
It’s no witty affair
when empathy’s scarce.
So, take yourself for a walk
your once-a-day jaunt.
Mind, set a brisk pace
keep depression
at bay, for a while.
It’s killing time.
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day19

Save Yourself

Breathe in
through the nose
breathe out
through the mouth

calm your thoughts
empty your mind
visualise, or not
imagine or forget

choose a guide
or be your own
no wrong way
to save yourself

the choice is yours
no rules apply
take the time
to simply be

in the moment
breathing
existing
relaxing

meditating.

#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day10

What do you want to achieve today?

Firstly, apologies to anyone who thinks this is going to be an inspirational post about what wonderful, creative things you can do during lock-down.

Whilst I’m in awe of those who are learning new skills, adhering to a carefully thought out schedule and generally excelling at life, that simply isn’t me.

Today, my achievement is that I woke up at 9 am. You may be thinking, oh, did you want to have a long lie? Sorry, let me explain. Today I wanted to wake up at 9 am because for the past four days I haven’t been able to get out of bed before midday.

Let me put this into context. I’m a mother of two; one is 9 and the other is 18. I’m married. I have responsibilities. I am in my second year of a university degree course. However, I also struggle with my mental health.

I guess the point of this post is to show that everyone’s goals are going to be different right now. This is a weird and messed up situation. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Set personal goals and celebrate achieving them. Know that what you are doing is good enough.

Tomorrow, I might add something else, I might not. If I can get up at 9 am for two days running, I’ll be happy with that.

Whatever you achieve today, no matter how small, I admire your strength. If you feel you haven’t achieved what you planned, there’s always tomorrow. I admire your courage to keep trying.

You’re one of a kind, each and every one of you. Please be kind to yourself.

Stay safe, everyone!

H x

Searching

I’ve tried to find
the light switch
the one inside
my head.
I’m drowning
in this darkness
inhaling my last breaths.

I stumble, fumble forwards
then stagger, tumble back.

That switch is always
out of reach
a fingertip away
from me
so, the darkness
keeps its hold
for now, for the moment
I must yield.

I’ll try again tomorrow
to find the light I need.

#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day5

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