
Chaos

~The H Word~ by Hazel Urquhart
"Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood" ~ T.S. Eliot
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day19
Moon shine down on me,
bathed in light help me to feel
like I might be real.
***
Darkness within and
darkness without. How can I
find the light in me?
***
Low feels like low looks;
sky too high to see the stars,
eyes cast down, searching.
***
Hope, like a lover
who has been gone for too long;
jilted acceptance.
***
Cheer up! Chin up! Snap
out of it, smile more. You could
be worse off, you know.
***
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day15
Silence shatters; violent eruption of rage.
Fury surges forward taking no prisoners.
Agitated bluster, like a fist raised in anger.
All bark and no bite? Who can decide
when foundations are shaking, imagined or not,
tremors travel inward, fear fragile as glass —
transparent enough to reflect the nightmare,
no less frightening because it’s familiar.
Doesn’t mean it belongs here.
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day13
Breathe in
through the nose
breathe out
through the mouth
calm your thoughts
empty your mind
visualise, or not
imagine or forget
choose a guide
or be your own
no wrong way
to save yourself
the choice is yours
no rules apply
take the time
to simply be
in the moment
breathing
existing
relaxing
meditating.
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day10
Firstly, apologies to anyone who thinks this is going to be an inspirational post about what wonderful, creative things you can do during lock-down.
Whilst I’m in awe of those who are learning new skills, adhering to a carefully thought out schedule and generally excelling at life, that simply isn’t me.
Today, my achievement is that I woke up at 9 am. You may be thinking, oh, did you want to have a long lie? Sorry, let me explain. Today I wanted to wake up at 9 am because for the past four days I haven’t been able to get out of bed before midday.
Let me put this into context. I’m a mother of two; one is 9 and the other is 18. I’m married. I have responsibilities. I am in my second year of a university degree course. However, I also struggle with my mental health.
I guess the point of this post is to show that everyone’s goals are going to be different right now. This is a weird and messed up situation. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Set personal goals and celebrate achieving them. Know that what you are doing is good enough.
Tomorrow, I might add something else, I might not. If I can get up at 9 am for two days running, I’ll be happy with that.
Whatever you achieve today, no matter how small, I admire your strength. If you feel you haven’t achieved what you planned, there’s always tomorrow. I admire your courage to keep trying.
You’re one of a kind, each and every one of you. Please be kind to yourself.
Stay safe, everyone!
H x
I’ve tried to find
the light switch
the one inside
my head.
I’m drowning
in this darkness
inhaling my last breaths.
I stumble, fumble forwards
then stagger, tumble back.
That switch is always
out of reach
a fingertip away
from me
so, the darkness
keeps its hold
for now, for the moment
I must yield.
I’ll try again tomorrow
to find the light I need.
#NaPoWriMo2020 #Day5