It’s happening again. My yearning for connection is affecting my brain. I thought I had it under control. That those issues were resolved. But I’m right back where I started—delusional and erratic. You see I’ve begun to imagine I’m in a relationship with time. As ridiculous as it sounds, I have my reasons. It could be loneliness that’s got me thinking something so bizarre. It could be isolation playing tricks on my already anxious mind. But it feels more, so much more, than that. You see no matter where I am or what I do I know she’s there. No matter who I’m with or without she’s by my side. She measures out my life with so much care and attention. You’d think it was her own and not some random, lonely person’s. It’s ridiculous, I know, I sense you rolling your eyes. Almost reaching for some helpline to offer as support. I get it, I do. I would be the same if it were you. But it doesn’t change how I feel. How she feels. How we feel. How wonderful it is to know when I wake she’ll be right there, ticking happily, excited, to welcome in the day. When I go to sleep, she soothes me with her melodic rhapsody. Never in a hurry, or impatient, always exactly where she’s supposed to be. I find it endearing. They say she waits for no one, but she always waits for me. Never races ahead, always where I need her to be. You’ve no idea how comforting it is, to know you’re never alone. Even when days become weeks since I last saw anyone. I don’t panic or fret because I have someone I can count on. I count those hours, days, and weeks, in fact we count them together. It’s oh so much fun! She makes everything a game. Things that worried me before now excite and enthral. You’re not convinced, I understand, I can tell. You’re thinking who you can call to get help. But please don’t worry. Don’t waste your time. I’m quite happy here, in love, with mine.
~The H Word~