Misophonia

Misophonia: A disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance.

I don’t remember when it started.
Maybe it was always there
the way my mood would change
from one second to the next
triggered only by sounds
no-one else seemed to hear.

A ticking clock, a licking dog,
a sucking sound, a chewing mouth,
breathing in, breathing out,
all amplified inside my head.
Unable to think of anything else
until all that’s left is that annoying
sound – over and over and over.

Blood pressure rises, sanity slips,
where happiness was only fury remains
and my extreme reaction seems unjustified
but not any less real inside my head.

I need to kill the volume
I need to feel the silence
I would kill for silence.

I need to escape that sound
that noise that distraction.

No control over flipping my emotional
switch. I am helpless to stop either noise
or reaction. I seethe and I rage
till I’m boiling inside, filled with
so much anger there’s no room
left for me. Can’t you see?

I’d give anything to be free
from this irrational affliction
instead, I am perpetually caught
in this relentless obsession
with noise.

~The H Word~

#NaPoWriMo2021 #DayTwo